"Well-behaved women seldom make history."
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Monday, 28 July 2014

My Big Sister

There is a Big Brother show again in the UK on Channel 5. Usually I don't care about reality shows but this time I know a person who went into the house. The loud mouth Biannca as the Daily Star called her. And she made quite a big scene when she was voted out: she left the house topless!


I was smiling when I read the article about it because it's really her! She was truly herself on TV, she showed her real face to the cameras. I remember when she first came to the club where I worked in Mayfair, London. Eventually her name in the club was also London that I found a bit awkward but she always made a joke about it. She came with a very pretty friend of hers and they just started to get familiar with this kind of business. As I mentioned earlier, in London I worked in an old style hostess club (or champagne club if you prefer to call it so) where were no stage shows. Our task was entertaining the customers and selling champagne with clothes on. We had 2 or 3 dancers who made fully nude strip, but it was no pressure on other girls to do it so. Oh boy, I really miss those times!!! I made money on an easy way having lots of laugh and fun not like now sometimes with so much hustle on.
Biannca's friend very soon left but she stayed in the club longer. It was about 6 years ago. I also remember her talking about her girl band, modeling and that she wanted to go to the BB already that time. She was always open minded, straight forward – maybe a little na├»ve – but definitely not a mishy mashy double faced Essex girl. I always had a good laugh with her. And day by day she felt more confident in the club, she started to do striptease soon. After our ways were separated, I knew she was dancing in Marbella and she stayed there quite long, but it was never my intention to work there.

And now she made it into the BB house. Even she left after a few days I'm happy for her. And I'm happy that she freely talks about her past being a stripper and webcam girl and she doesn't care about social stigmas. I know lots of girls – even myself in some situations – that would just zip up the mouth and deny all. But she's only doing what she always wanted to do: having lots of fun! And not the flashing boobies make others critical and bad-mouthed about her but the way she's being truly herself.  

Friday, 25 July 2014

Photoblog - The land of ice and fire


Someone just encouraged me to share some photos I took during my travels. So here they are. These are my favourites of Iceland from last December. 
















Monday, 21 July 2014

Chasing the Midnight Sun



Let's start this story with December last year. I've been here in Iceland already. I've heard lots of good thing about the club here and I wanted to give it a go. 2 days before my flight the agency contacted me that the club is currently not open, but the owner wants me to come anyway as they can reopen at any time. So I arrived but the club didn't open next day or next week either. I spent 2 weeks in Reykjavik hoping that I can work but nothing happened. Finally I gave it up, enjoyed a few days more as a tourist here and I was heading back to the UK.
The owner was very supportive, he totally understood my situation. I can't have a bad word about him. I told him I want to leave because it's just not worth it to spend the money I earned in another country (and if I want to take a holiday I would rather go somewhere warm.) So he booked me the ticket back to London, he gave me money for the ticket I lost (I couldn't just change the date on the return flight) he booked me a hotel for a night and he sent his driver to take me to the airport next morning. He was absolutely correct!
I was not so disappointed. You always take some risks when you travel. And I found Iceland an extremely beautiful country, cold, but very nice. I met a nice photographer guy here, we rented a car and he took me to the best places where I could take some breathtaking pictures. I went to explore Reykjavik in a snowstorm, when I got snow, rain, hail and strong wind all in one. But I didn't mind. I visited the Icelandic Penis Museum :) and the Blue Lagoon. I was disappointed only about one thing: I couldn't see the Northern Lights as the sky was too cloudy those days. But I decided to come back here on the summer. One thing was in my head and made me think: it can't be a bad place if some girls can wait here long weeks without work for the reopening because they want to keep their place in the club. If they leave, there is a chance that other girls will arrive and they have to wait longer for free places. Some clubs work with limited number of girls because of the accommodation. They care about the girls and they don't just throw a mattress on the floor saying “you will sleep here.”

So now here I am again. Finally the club is open! And the country on the summer showing a different face.. I landed at Keflavik airport at 23.30. Outside was still daylight. Not sun, but let's say like a rainy day in England. The night started only around 2am and soon after there was morning already. Friday night lots of people on the streets. It looks promising.. Now I can't wait to see how is the work here! :)

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

When money talks

I have a funny story from another day. I know some people just like to be judgemental and I should not be surprised after I'm saying I work as a dancer they give me a bad look. I can not imagine how is in the States as I've heard different opinions about it. Some says there dancers are treated as artists or entertainers and they have more respect. But I also heard the opposite. I think it's just different from person to person. Here in Europe people are more conservative as they say. (Although Europe means 45 different countries and many different cultures.) But for sure I don't like to speak up and say out loudly what is my profession. Just like that day.
I arrived back from Corsica and I went to the local money shop to exchange the money I earned there. I always go to the same place. I know the exchange rates are not the best there, but my bank is on the other side of the road and I don't like to walk around with lots of cash in my pocket.
This time the young lady behind the desk gave me a little bit of hard time. She is from the same country as me, but I never saw here in the shop before. I had no proof of address with me and she needed to arrange a couple of phone calls to authorise the exchange. (It happened before but they were more flexible. Brits and their all-the-time afraid of money laundry, eh..) Suddenly she asked me how I got the money... I looked at her and without thinking I just said I'm a dancer. I didn't need to explain what kind even I was wearing glasses and no make up. She tried to be professional but her voice changed. From that moment I was just a “dancer” and she was a very important business woman behind her desk talking on her phone. She was superior. I found the situation kind of funny and embarrassing in the same time.
Oh well, without the proof of address I couldn't be successful, but I promised to come back later on the same day. As I did. I went to the same window to the same lady.
“Um, what did you say how long have you worked in France?”
“4 weeks.”
“And this is the salary you've got for 4 weeks???”
“No. I spent quite a lot.”
Her jaw dropped. Even I think it was not a big amount of money, it is a normal salary of an average manager position in England. (I guess she was impressed by the amount in Euros and she forget that it will be less in GBP.) But then she asked me with wondering eyes:
“Can I apply? For this I work here 2 months..”
I was smiling. And of course I was satisfied! From the cold business woman she turned into a nosy, kinky girl and started to ask me more questions about dancing. Luckily there was no queue behind me.
“You know I was just thinking about it these days. I feel lucky. Within a year I worked in 10 countries and 3 of them are overseas.”
“Great! And you got paid for that!!!”

I felt I was the absolute winner of this situation! I left the shop with a smile on my face. And again, I was right! Average people don't know much details about this job. They are full of judgements, but when they have the opportunity, they have lots of questions. They want to know the dirty details.. Here you can read a lot!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

The Little House of Fetish

I can not call myself a prude woman. I had boyfriend before that he loved me wearing stockings in bed. I didn't find it difficult, if that makes him happy, why not. As I'm doing fetish modelling these kind of desires are not unknown for me. And I don't know why but I noticed lately that guys with secret fantasies sooner or later open up for me and telling me or their dirty secrets. And I love those private dances when my customer only wants to give me foot massage or lick the heels of my shoes! But experience something extreme in private life, it's a different story..
First I was dating a guy and he liked the glossy, shiny hold ups on me. For every date we had he arrived with a pair of black stockings. He knows I love the vintage style Agent Provocateur ones (I already have a whole collection of them) So we were dating for a while but one night after having sex he turned to me saying: “Honey, I love your legs in these stockings. But what if next time I'm gonna wear them?”
End of story. I didn't know if I should have been embarrassed or laugh out loudly. I had no words to him just went to the bathroom because I couldn't hide my surprised face. Obviously that was our last date. Can you imagine a big, masculine guy asking you wearing your tights? I know in this century we shouldn't be surprised at all, but the personal experience is more intense and you really don't want something like that from a guy who anyway could be a long term partner or the father of your child..
In the second situation I was more brave and curious (and let's say more tipsy). I had a customer that I had a good time with, we were laughing a lot and opened the bottle of champagne one after another. Suddenly he just gave me his whisky glass.
“I want you to pee in it!”
Probably the alcohol I drunk previously made the effect on me that I was not surprised.
“OK, I do but only if you drink it!”
It's definitely not something I do often. But that was one of the situations in my life when I chose to go beyond my limits. And he was only a customer I've seen first time (and last time), I mean there were no emotions attached. So I did it for him. He drunk it with no face expression just like he'd drink his whisky. He only asked some ice to put in. OK, this is also something we know it exists, no surprise here. But such a big difference in person than just to hear about it.
The third one was the weirdest I can say although I don't know if I should mention it on a same page with fetish. All my readers can decide about it.. (I'd love to know what Freud would comment!) I met this guy. He was one of the kindest type that I don't meet quite often and somehow I felt good with him from the beginning. But he had this tiny little thing: a small dog. I had boyfriends with dogs before and after him but it was something I've never seen. First when she (you read it well, SHE!) started to humping on his arm, I did not pay attention to it. Nature has its funny ways to express itself. But later on I realised that is kinda part of the daily routine: feeding the dog, playing with the dog, make the dog cum... Yuck! When I asked how he knows that she has an orgasm, he said “Her pussy is moving just like yours.” (I felt sort of offended that my pussy has been compared to a dogs.)
Later I tried to tell him that I don't think this is a healthy way of living with a dog, but his answer was “it's normal, you can check it on Youtube, there are lots of videos” Yes, but the normal reaction from guys is laughing on it, make a video because it's strange or simply just tell the dog to “go away”. Not to mention not everything is normal what you can watch on Youtube.. I also googled it, but I had to stop educate myself in this subject when the 2nd or 3rd article was a step by step guide “how to train your dog to fuck you”
My mistake that I didn't say anything to him about how disguised I was. I just couldn't find the right words. It made me confused and I even questioned my own sexuality when after having sex with me he still wanted to please his dog. (As I noticed that he was the one who generated the whole game. I don't want to talk here about Pavlov, his dogs, the reflexes and that bell..) Because the dog taught him love. Excellent, so what I'm doing here? So next time when I'm single, feeling lonely and unloved, should I buy a horse??? I'm done. No more words. The rest is out of question..
But again, I learned something about myself. Since then I know I'm not able to love someone unconditionally, just the way he is. In theory it sounds beautiful, but good or not, I have my own conditions. And I think every healthy minded women would think in the same way..

(Overall I try not being judgemental here. It's not about put those guys on a black list. End of the day it is their life, their choice, their habits. But they helped me a lot to realise my own limitations and acceptances.)